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Later that night, I would again curse Jetset Mafia - this time for wasting five hours of my life. But at that moment, I was thrilled at the chance to get up close and personal with the rapper/dancer/D-list celeb who not only had sex with Britney Spears, but - as boys Sean Preston and Jayden James can attest - had sex with Britney Spears twice. I had to go. If I was going to get groped, at least it would be in pursuit of the most inconsequential celebrity this side of Tara Reid.
Two years ago, Kevin Federline was merely a backup dancer to Britney Spears and baby-daddy to low-level celebrity Shar Jackson - a nobody on the celebrity gossip radar. But after a fairy-tale wedding to America's pop princess complete with tracksuits and fried chicken - while Jackson was still pregnant with his second son - Federline became, if not a somebody, then at least married to one. What ensued was like watching a train wreck in slow motion - the UPN reality show; their first shoeless, seatbelt-neglected child; the adoption of the J.Lo-esque moniker "K-Fed"; the inevitably horrific hip-hop album. But with the second kid popped out and Brit's subsequent slim-down, it was only a matter of time before K-Fed would become Fed-Ex. Last Tuesday, less than two months after Jayden James' birth, and only two weeks after the release of Federline's album, "Playing with Fire," Brit-Brit made it official: bitch-slapping K-Fed with a divorce and notifying him, rumor has it, through text message.
